Lucy June 16 2014

Lucy   June 16 2014

My cousin.

When I woke up this morning
The old familiar fear-ache leaped into my stomach.
I know what to do, now, immediately begin the Lord's Prayer
It's not a bloody battle, more like offering the breast to a crying infant.
Then I cradle the Infant Fear-Ache and whisper "Sh--sh, it's okay."
Harder for her own children, her husband.  Beyond any words at all.

Such a death rips a huge hole in the world
And wind rushes through like a tornado pulling us with it
As we are helpless to grab at anything
Death ends the world as we know it.

The Fear-Ache Babe falls asleep suckling
And I am reminded that what is internal will stay
What is internal will stay.

Lucy
I am reminded of others who precede her
I want to tell her children,
You will change,
But you will never be unrecognizable.
You are her blood.

I want to tell her husband, Life.  But this takes time.

Everything changes.  We are fools to ignore this.
Born, lives, dies, disintegrates, and disappears.
Rocks, trees, insects, rivers and seas
All they carry.
Tigers, rhinoceroses, humans, all they carry.
Even the earth.  Even that.
When I realized that, I began to sit in vigil.

It is the Other Half of Life, which we ignore as long as possible,
Which is inevitable
The Other Pole of this duality.  Life and Death are absolutes
We don't rock back and forth, we travel from one pole to the other
This much is linear.
The individual life is a linear thing, holding within it the cycles and seasons,
But traveling toward an end.
Life continues because dualities must cycle, even though individuals die.

On Earth, as it is in Heaven.
This is the Incarnation I want to carry internally
As I fall through the huge hole in the world.

It is pure solace.
Imagine the shroud of the Monarch,
Which becomes transparent, revealing the caterpillar
Transforming into a folded butterfly
Waiting for the world to split.
What else can we possibly know?
Back to Mystery.

Mystery never leaves.
It needs no veiling since it is beyond comprehension
Even in its most naked glory
It is dawn of the deepest trust
This is internal, to be sure.