How I Feel About It

April 30th 2005  
  
Kind of nervous, which comes as a surprise,
I feel top heavy and too fast
Which is rude.
It isn’t present...Here, and Now
Like, working from some transplanted place, instead of rooted deep.
This is frustrating, because I know it’s really not hard to love,
If you remember where you are (here)
And who you are connected to  (now)

“I hurt,” you say, hoping I am skillful enough with love in hand
To meet that hurt
And mediate between you and your pain
So I intercede, hoping I am perceptive enough
To effect a reconciliation between you and your history,
To secure for you an inheritance, a better life, even just for this hour.

Well.     But that’s not enough.
Pain is one consequence of history that pins us to past events
And if I am not rooted and grounded in Love, where can that pain escape to?
It needs relief.
Isn’t it trying to get out?   Or to transform?  It needs help. 
We suffer when there is no catalyst to transform the pain.
Maybe by now the body is numb,                                       
Accustomed to the pain that is supposed to move it to safety;
But now only punishes it for failure
Perhaps by now, the soul is resigned to a history that impinges upon the future.

Well, we are human, and the pain cycle is a part of our common heritage.
Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual varieties of pain that we learn from;
Sometimes it is the best protection
But there is a time for the pain cycle to be broken
Because it needs relief
And we need a clean future.
Even if that future is just
Here,    Now,

Connected to the broad dimensional matrix of love,
Which is also a part of our common heritage
A memory we bring fondly,
A hope we look forward to with younger eyes.