Cancer

Cancer                July 15 2007


Can there be a way to say all this?
He kept saying he wanted his life back
I kept modifying to meet all the needs
And suddenly, finally, the whole thing just blew apart
A thousand shards spinning out
Cartwheeling and billowing
A gasoline fire that exploded
And sent us flying off in different directions.

What really did happen?

How much of it was because of
--the climax of brain surgery
--the afterglow of radiation
--the lasting pheromones of chemo
And finally, my ousting by that unknown woman,
Disability.
She perhaps had been shadowing us for a long time,
Waiting for her chance,
Building her case cell by malignant cell.

It is too big an exposure to understand.
Nothing is left but to back away
Move off, give it space.

Who knows?
He lives, and he is evidently unimpaired
But I can’t go back and neither can he.