Greener Pastures Syndrome

                    Greener Pastures Syndrome            June 22 2007       
      
So many years
And we still long and hunger for something like when it was all new
And will even abandon all that we have
In pursuit of the wisp of a rumor.
Well, once the heart is broken for the one hundred thousandth time,
It has so many cracks it will never hold again like new
Sorry, never ever.

And you are flying now, with your old wings
Eager for life and eager for freedom from the weight
Of the years
Of the past
Of the disappointments that have lately loomed so large
When viewed from the rude imminence of mortality
A wasted life, you think, and finally see that suitability is everything!
Unwilling to try any longer with the old, broken covenant, are we?

Well, I can understand that.  Neither can I.
My life has been poured out too, evidently, like a drunk’s piss in the sand
But please don’t make the mistake of thinking that I am now eager
Burning like an alcohol fire
Alive with hope and the desire for romance

“You look so bright,” you say.
But within I am all dark                                            
My heart has one hundred thousand cracks
Am I likely to trust it to someone’s grasping hands
Who is eager and desiring romance with someone who looks bright?

If you think it is easy to start again,                                
You have no idea what have you begun                                
By initiating the possibility with a break-up.
Will you stand up under the weight of one hundred thousand details
That must be dealt with, or just dump it all on the woman left behind? 
Is she crying like I have cried?  She will.
Would I complicate those tears,
I who have dealt with  .... all those details?

Not me, Babe.                                              
So good luck  and go find who will be bright and new

Who will be new, having lived with the lingering losses
Of the one hundred thousand deaths
From deep ruined places?