Another Impasse

Late Summer 1996

Dear Josh,

    Well, I have done it again.  I wrote a letter to the overseer and instead of understanding, it has brought offense, and attack.  I hope I can get it right someday. 

    So we have some serious questions about what is going on, and we have been required by leadership to hold leadership accountable, but when we do, we are told we don’t know what we are talking about, and when we voice opinion based on our long and real experience, we are told we are arrogant, and very close to the Unpardonable Sin. So... I don’t want to take offense myself, but I am confused.

    And now he has ought against us. We can apologize for hurting his feelings, but we know too much to submit to his ways, and because we won’t submit, we will be thrown out. No communication possible unless we surrender unconditionally, and to do so would trespass against our conscience and our bylaws. 

    Josh, honestly, I just don’t want to go back.  I would rather just disappear--no excuses, no explanations, no defenses. How do you apologize for hurting someone bigger and stronger and bullier than you, to whom you have merely reiterated the agreements?  We will be the bad guys anyway; why not just slip away before we have to sit through the litany? 

     Forgive me, Josh!  I’m ranting--we saw the fire coming.  So I know I can ask for good to come out of all this--good for the one we need to forgive, good for us, good for the innocent bystanders and the others at stake.  Help us to seek reconciliation for the right reason, not just to appease. 

    I forgive the man, you know, he really thinks he is right; he really thinks he is doing the right thing, making an example of us, he thinks, for our own good.  In as much as he knows, his heart is perfect.  In as much as I know, my heart also is perfect. 

    Your word is good, Josh, the understanding you have given me yourself, and I will not trespass against it, even if my brother never understands why.


Waiting.....Sidney